By @TedwardBouillon

Chicago Craft Beer Week 2013 is upon us! Starting Thursday, May 16th, Chicago celebrates an 11-day-week long celebration of all things Craft Beer! Great food, awesome people and of course, endless craft beer all the way to Memorial Day!

Stockyard Palate loves you. That’s why we want to make some (totally unbiased!) recommendations for Chicago Craft Beer Week events! For each day, we’ve got a few (or more) events highlighted that we think are gonna be different, memorable and/or exceptionally awesome. Come say hi to us if you see us at any CCBW event!

For a full list of events and all the details, check out www.chibeerweek.com

THURSDAY 5/16

BEER UNDER GLASS

If you haven’t already got a ticket, you better beg, borrow or steal… well okay, just beg, because someone out there might still be able to get you in; plus, stealing’s bad. Held at the Garfield Park Conservatory, Beer Under Glass is THE kickoff event for CCBW and it’s the best.

The Garfield Park Conservatory is located a ways west of downtown Chicago. Take the Green line to the Conservatory stop; pretty easy, right? Everyone you know is going.

TAP THIS! LOCAL III @ FISCHMAN LIQUORS & TAVERN

If there’s one place you should be that’s not Beer Under Glass, it’s Fischman Liquors, because there will be so many good beers. If that’s not enough, the Jefferson Park tavern will have food trucks and live music.

Local beer. Local food. Dude, there’s a food truck called Cupcake Gangster that’s going to be there! Cupcake Gangster!

BREWERY VIVANT: THE MAGNIFICENT 7 @ ROCK ISLAND PUBLIC HOUSE

Don’t worry Southsiders, Thursday night will be amazing for you too. Grand Rapids-based Belgian style brewers Brewery Vivant will be taking over the taps at Blue Island’s Rock Island Public House. Seven awesome beers will be flowing and you’d be crazy to miss it. Two words: barrel aged. The kids go crazy for that stuff these days, so you know it’s going to be memorable. Or not memorable, depending on how much you drink!

Look for more great events throughout the week at Rock Island Public House!

FRIDAY 5/17

HALF ACRE FIVE

Do you remember the beach party Half Acre threw last year? I don’t! Okay, I remember some of it, but the last hour is a mystery because it was that good. Best event of 2012; there, I said it! You know this year’s Half Acre fifth anniversary party will not disappoint. Alas, tickets went quick, so if you’re one of the lucky ones, then we’ll see you there. If not, don’t fret, because…

REGIONAL CLUSTERFUCK

I’ll say that again: Regional Clusterfuck! The metal maniacs at Local Option are getting things started at 3pm (as usual) to get your weekend off to a kickass start. They’re promising “highly sought after” releases from some of the regions best breweries. Go there after Half Acre FIVE and turn your night up to 11.

SOLEMN OATH ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY @ BAVARIAN LODGE

You know them, you love them; The Brothers Barley and co. are celebrating their one year anniversary and what a year it’s been! Whether you’re in the city or out in the burbs, make the trek to Lisle and visit the Bavarian Lodge. Raise a glass to these crazy SOBs and enjoy some of the many beers they’ve made in their first year.

SATURDAY 5/18

LOCAL CASK DAY @ FOUNTAINHEAD

A night was not enough! Now the local cask beer will be flowing all damn day at the Fountainhead. While this event has been happening for the last few years, this year is the first to throw the rooftop and Chef Cleetus Friedman into the mix. You can bet that this year will deliver more cask-conditioned goodness than ever before, plus tickets are still available to the VIP hour, starting at 11am! If you’re like me, you want to get Super Saturday started early!

CHICAGO BEER GEEKS TAP TAKEOVER

Yeah, I called it Super Saturday! Why? Because there is a ridiculous amount of amazing stuff happening Saturday. Case in point: The Chicago Beer Geeks are throwing a party. Have you met these guys? They’re not just beer geeks, they know how to throw a party too. Get to the Bottom Lounge, right by union park (just off the Ashland Green line stop) for a collaboration beer with Wild Onion, plus other rare and limited beers, Burlesque performances and the beer geeks’ own DJ Eternal. Tickets still available!

OVER THE INFLUENCE: THE ART OF BEER

Get down to Bridgeport to the Co-Prosperity Sphere for another Chef Won Kim production featuring local art and beer. Mash Tun Journal, Maria’s Packaged Goods and a slew of local artists and brewers will be bringing a little culture and intoxication to your Saturday night and tickets are still available. Don’t miss out!

SOLEMN OATH ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY @ BANGERS & LACE

You didn’t think the party would go for just one night, did you? Here come the SOBs for round two at – where else? Bangers & Lace! Chicagoans, here’s your chance to say cheers to the Solemn Oath crew and drink not just 16 of their beers, but (wait for it) 16 Port Brewing/Lost Abbey beers too! Ridiculous. Why Lost Abbey? Because they’re awesome. Oh, there’s also a collaboration between the two breweries. I’m getting thirsty just typing this…

AGAINST THE GRAIN @ NORTHDOWN

Here at Stockyard Palate, we love the Northdown. A great neighborhood bar with good food and a consistently solid draft list, it’s a good place to go any week of the year. Throughout CCBW however, they’ll be hosting some great events, including hosting the brewers from Louisville’s Against the Grain! Go say hi and try a couple of their always-stellar beers and see if you don’t stay for a few more.

BEER PROM / 2 BROTHERS TAP TAKEOVER @ ATLAS

When I think of prom, I think of cheesy movies about teen angst. Why? I never went to prom. Whether you’re thinking “American Pie” or looking back on your own memories, this will be just like it minus the being a teenager and the whole not-being-able-to-drink part – uh, legally, that is…

Dust off your tux or prom dress and get ready for some 80s music and local craft beer! Atlas and Two Brothers want to be your date, so don’t just stand there, bust a move! (See what I did there?)

SUNDAY 5/19

GOOSE ISLAND 25th ANNIVERSARY BLOCK PARTY

It’s Goose Island. They’re throwing a block party. They’re celebrating 25 years of greatness and want you to celebrate with them. There promises to be some ridiculous beers on tap and everyone and their mom will be there, so if you haven’t already got your ticket, get one! Tickets are still available! Shake off the hangover and come celebrate a Chicago institution!

CCBW IN THE SKY

More Goose Island goodness at the Skybox on Sheffield! Drink Goose Island brews an watch the Cubbies uh… win? Here’s hoping! Either way, you’ll be enjoying baseball with better beer than you’ll find in the bleachers and plenty of good eats too. Beeer Heeere!

BOTTLES, BLEACHERS & BASEBALL

What would Chicago be without baseball rivalry? Don’t answer that. CCBW’s own baseball rivalry isn’t exactly the Crosstown Classic, but while Goose is doing their thing, overlooking Wrigley Field, you’ll find Greenbush beers paired with all-you-can-eat grub. Only a handful of tickets remain to this bottle release party, so get on it! I should probably make some kind of baseball reference so uh, sounds like a home run to me!

REVOLUTION BEER DINNER @ FARMHOUSE

If block parties and baseball aren’t your thing, class it up a bit and call up Farmhouse to reserve a spot for their Revolution Beer Dinner! Revolution Brewing will pairing beers with a 3-course meal. When life gives you lemons, fry them! Ramps? All the kids are doing it. That cup o’ dirt dessert someone’s mom always made at grade school birthdays? That’s happening. And it includes lavender marshmallow and gummy worms. Insanity.

MONDAY 5/20

BROWN LINE BREWS @ LONGROOM

You fancy Cicerone-certified kids will want to hit up the Long Room for Brown Line Brews! Hosted by the Cicerone peeps, there will be plenty of great beer there, with brown line-based breweries in the house, as well as Bottles & Cans and Brew Camp! Hit up the city’s best-smelling line and take it to the Irving Park stop! Don’t even tell me the Yellow Line smells better! Where’s their beer fest?

VIKING’S FEAST W/ SOLEMN OATH @ JERRY’S (DIVISION)

Are you noticing a pattern here? Yeah, Solemn Oath are taking no prisoners this year as they sack and pillage (in a good way!) their way through beer week! Get ready for a totally rad night with viking films, Nordic metal and a ton of good Solemn Oath beers! Vikings!!!

PERENNIAL BEER DINNER @ BANGERS & LACE

Monday night, Bangers & Lace teams up with Perennial for a dinner pairing their amazing beers (including barrel-aged Abraxas!) with 5 amazing plates created especially for this dinner.

OFF COLOR & METROPOLITAN TAPPING @ PADDY LONG’S

Off Color and Metropolitan will have kegs at Paddy Long’s, so get thirsty! Come say hi to the brewers and add some lager to your week!

TUESDAY 5/21

SOLEMN OATH X GREENBUSH @ SMALLBAR

Smallbar Division pits IL brewers Solemn Oath against MI brewers Greenbush! 6 taps will be devoted to each brewery, so basically we all win.

BATTLE OF THE BREWERIES @ EMPORIUM

Emporium Arcade Bar is throwing a Battle of the Breweries! Put on your power glove and throw down in the bracketed arcade tournament featuring beers from local breweries, all of whom have recruited some arcade wizards to wage war on their behalf. Come watch beer nerds crush classic arcade games like Donkey Kong, Pacman, Tapper (Google it if you don’t know it!) and my personal favorite, Burgertime!

SOUTH OF 80 2.0 @ THE GREEN LADY

The Green Lady – just off the Paulina Brown Line stop, not far from Northdown – will be presenting an assortment of beers from downstate IL and St. Louis breweries! That’s right, they’re coming to you! Enjoy beers from the likes of Destihl, Urban Chestnut and more!

CHICAGO CIDER HOUSE @ FARMHOUSE

Head downtown to Farmhouse for Chicago’s first pop up cider house! CCBW may be all about craft beer, but what beer lover doesn’t like a good cider? Go say hi to cider makers Virtue and Vandermill and try some of their great ciders!

WEDNESDAY 5/22

DIVISION STREET IPA CRAWL @ SMALLBAR / JERRY’S / BANGERS & LACE

All three of these Division St. craft beer bars are pouring IPAs on Wednesday! Get over the CCBW hump with East Coast IPAs at Bangers, Midwest IPAs at Jerry’s and West Coast IPAs at Smallbar! I don’t know you guys, I think IPAs might be the next big thing!

LITTLE GOAT BEER DINNER

Hope you’ve been saving your allowance, because Little Goat’s Stephanie Izard will be taking the party to the rooftop! Assuming reservations are still available, call them up and splurge on beer from 9 different breweries as well as copious amounts of pig and goat. Mmmm…

NEW WAVE BREWER SHOWCASE @ HAMBURGER MARY’S

Hamburger Mary’s hosts all those new breweries you’ve been hearing about in Chicago. All of them! Well, a lot of them anyway, and not only will there be some great local brews on tap, but you’ll be able to say hi to the brewers too! Head north and check out the New Wave Brewers Showcase! Tickets are still available!

BEER DINNER WITH BEGYLE @ FOUNTAINHEAD

Begyle Brewing have a new collaboration beer with Chef Cleetus AND there’s a beer dinner? Drink some great Begyle brews with awesome eats courtesy of Cleetus! Tickets are still available, but don’t wait too long, Fountainhead events are not to be missed!

THURSDAY 5/23

FauxBAB @ ACRE

Get it? Last year, ACRE poured some amazing barrel-aged beers in their first-annual festival of Barrel-aged Beers! You don’t have to wait for the fall to enjoy some great barrel-aged goodness, so do yourself a favor and don’t miss this.

CELEBRATING REAL WOMEN OF CRAFT BEER

Head to Riverview Tavern and celebrate the women of craft beer! @Hail2theAle hosts some of the Chicago beer scene’s leading ladies! They’ll have some great beers on tap, with $1 per pint going to a good cause – the Chicago Chapter of “Dress For Success” a charity promoting “economic independence by providing professional clothing and resources to disadvantaged women.” Find out more at www.dressforsuccess.org

They’ll also be screening a documentary, “The Love of Beer” and tapping a special all women-brewed collaboration beer, 99 Problems!

FRIDAY 5/24

BOOMTOWN! @ JERRY’S

Jerry’s is taking CCBW by storm! Friday night, brewers from Begyle, Spiteful, Ale Syndicate and Lake Effect will be at Jerry’s on Division! Some additional breweries will be on tap as well, including Off Color and Solemn Oath. Take in some live bluegrass while you enjoy some of Chicago’s newest breweries’ offerings.

LOCAL TAP TAKEOVER @ VILLAGE TAP

Get to the Village Tap and try some new releases from Off Color, Goose Island, Flossmore Station, Ale Syndicate, Local Option and Virtue Cider!

PERENNIAL / HOPLEAF COLLABORATION

There are some great events going on at the Hopleaf during CCBW this year! Their last one of the week features a collaboration beer brewed with Perennial from St. Louis! It goes without saying that in addition to this collab beer, there will be some other great beers on tap, so plan on hitting up the Hopleaf on the second Friday of CCBW!

SATURDAY 5/25

BEERFLY ALLEYFIGHT!!! @ HAYMARKET
(DRINKING & WRITING THEATER)

10 teams, 10 beers, 10 food pairings. Each team will have a local artist displaying an art piece too, so come marvel at each of these beery trifectas! From 12 – 5, homebrewers will throw down, talk smack and vie for best in each category and best in show! I don’t want to tell you who to vote for, but a certain someone writing this right now might be involved this year, so come out and try some awesome beers and make your vote count! Say, you’re looking nice today…

Tickets are still available, so there’s still time to join in on the mayhem!

WEST LOOP CRAFT BEER FEST

Hey, how’s your liver? Ready to give up? Of course you’re not. You’re almost at the finish line! On the second Saturday of CCBW, the Illinois Craft Brewers Guild is throwing a huge party featuring a couple dozen or so Illinois breweries at Chicago’s French Market! Get over to the West Loop and drink with all the good people you’ve been drinking with all week. Tickets are still available!

ALLAGASH BRUNCH @ SCOFFLAW

Stockyard Palate favorite Scofflaw is hosting a beer dinner on Saturday afternoon featuring 5 courses paired with Allagash beers. Yeah, you heard us, Scofflaw!

PERENNIAL’S PERFECT PUPILS

Jerry’s in Andersonville will have 10 Perennial beers on tap, so when you’re done partying in the West Loop, head up north and hope there’s still some Abraxas left!

SUNDAY 5/26

HALF ACRE BEER BRUNCH @ SMALLBAR

Reserve your spot now! Smallbar will be pairing a flight of 4 small plates with a flight of Half Acre beers! This obviously solves the problem of nursing that hangover without having to stop drinking. Come on, it’s the last day! No peer pressure or anything…

BREWER’S BRUNCH @ HAYMARKET

We all love Brunch. It’s arguably the best meal of the week. Ya know who does a good brunch? Haymarket. 4 courses, each paired with one of Haymarket’s awesome beers! Hey, you have Monday off, right? Keep it going!

LAMBIC & SOUR BEER FEST @ DELILAH’S

I know it’s the last day of the 11-day week, but this is kind of a big deal. Delilah’s annual SOUR… BEER… FEST! There aren’t too many events like this during CCBW so don’t miss out!

THE THING WITH THE BEER @ NORTHDOWN

This is it! Finish your brunch and get to the Northdown! Off Color and 3 Floyds will have several beers on tap including a firkin of Zombie Dust! I’ll say that again, a firkin… of Zombie Dust! Also, there’s an Off Color/Mikkeller collab and their collaboration beer with 3 Floyds, Tonnerre Neige – if you missed it earlier this year, now’s your chance to get a taste. If you give him enough hard liquor, John Laffler might take his shirt off too. Who doesn’t want to see THAT? … again.

ONE MORE THING! DAILY EVENT RECOMMENDATIONS!

LOCAL, TWO WAYS @ OWEN & ENGINE

Check out Owen & Engine’s daily event, featuring local beers and specially created, locally-focused dishes! It’ll definitely be worth adding to your schedule.

LINCOLN SQUARE/RAVENSWOOD BREWERY TAP TAKEOVER @ THE GRAFTON

From Thursday 5/23 through Saturday 5/25, The Grafton will be pouring brews from Lincoln Sq/Ravenswood breweries Metropolitan, Begyle and Half Acre! Celebrate a great neighborhood full of great craft beer!

There it is. It’ll be over before we know it, so make the best of Chicago Craft Beer Week 2013! Cheers!

A List of the Restaurants and Bars in Chicago that I attend most often.

By: Jay     On: April 11, 2013

I‘ve long said that Chicago is one of the finest dining cities on the planet and I consider myself exceedingly fortunate to have access to countless fantastic places to share a meal and drinks with friends.  I recently got to thinking: where do I go most often? What are the places in this town that i just couldn’t live without? The truth is I probably don’t need be intimately familiar with hundreds of restaurants.  I have no intention of distributing my glossy headshot to every single establishment providing sustenance to our fine citizens.  I’d rather stick to a small list and show my face more often.  I decided that a list of 15 would be more than enough to make me happy… it would be an embarrassment of riches, really, to get to hit these spots all the time.  Less is more really.  After careful thought, what follows is my list of the 15 restaurants that I’ve put in Heavy Rotation of late… I’d be perfectly happy visiting these spots and nowhere else.

1. Au Cheval

Burgers, fries, bologna sandwiches, beers and cocktails on Randolph Street. Throw in great music and reasonable prices for good measure. Blam.

2. Yusho

All the cocktails, chicken wings, ramen and twice fried chicken please.

3. Vera

I want to give Liz and Mark a hug every time I say my goodbyes at Vera after devouring far too much cheese, uni toast and blood sausage. I blame the Sherry.

4. Scofflaw

The best drinks in the city and perhaps the friendliest most unpretentious bartenders around.  Bar eats are solid too.  Impossible to not have an outstanding time here. My favorite bar and it’s not close.

5.  Big Star

Bourbon. Tacos. Honkey Tonk. More bourbon.  Horchata. 6 months of patio action. My kinda jam.

6. Three Aces

Killer burger, beers and bolognese fries in a completely unpretentious setting.   Chat the bartenders up about Old Crow. Trust. Bonus: sitting outside in the summer for all of this.

7. Ada Street

Don’t sleep on Lorna’s cocktails of Chef Zoe’s food.  I also like choosing my own vinyl and ping-pong patios. Place makes me happy.

8. Piece

One must not underestimate the importance of good beer and pizza. Say this 7 times for good measure.

9. Bangers & Lace

Sometimes a guy wants fantastic draft beer and a $9 duck BLT. Cocktails are also fairly legit and I really dig the vibe.

10. Maude’s Liquor Bar

Fantastic cocktails and consistently delicious frites, sprouts and salads. My idea of a bistro experience.

11. Longman & Eagle

Admittedly tough to get a seat, but when you can you are in for a night of great bourbon and top notch food. Particularly great for brunch in my experience.

12. Nightwood

I don’t live in Pilsen but it is always worth the hike to experience Jason Vincent’s food.  Prices are for the people and the service is always fantastic.

13. Girl & The Goat

Is it nearly impossible to get a table? Yes.  That is the only thing that keeps me from going here once a month.  Food is always fantastic and fun, great cocktails always feels like a special night. Worth hovering around the bar to see if you can snag a bar seat.

14. Avec

I like drinking wine and eating bacon wrapped dates in saunas and you can’t convince me otherwise.

15. Tossup!

Since I made the rules that this list is capped at 15, I can honestly say I would be equally happy if any of the following restaurants grabbed the final spot.  They are all great and for different reasons.  I’ll let you guys decide.  Contenders are:

  LULA CAFE

Balena

  Billy Sunday

  Publican Quality Meats

  Telegraph

  Kai Zan

  Reno

By: Jay     On: March 28, 2013

Tim Cigelske is affectionately known the world over as The Beer Runner.   As the moniker implies, Tim is famous for documenting folks who are “equally devoted to fine beer appreciation and an active, healthy lifestyle”. This is my kind of dude.  He has been writing for Draft Magazine for years and focuses on that intersection between loving good beer and going outside and banging out a run because health.

Tim woke up a few years ago and decided to start a streak of running and drinking a beer every single day.  He was 29 and figured that he could keep this up until he hit the big 3-0.  That was 906 days ago and there is no sign of this streak ending anytime soon. He is a big advocate of the run-commute and bike commute and thousands of fans follow his beering/running/adventuring on Twitter and on DRAFT.

Tim, who hails from Milwaukee,  and I did a Half Marathon up in Madison this summer and got to chat a bit about beers, running and life.  We really hit it off, and as one would expect, we enjoyed a few post-race tasty brews.  We followed up with another Trail Half Marathon this fall in Illinois, and I’m not ashamed to admit that Tim crushed me in that particular race.

We had been talking about a collaboration for some time, and this week, Tim was kind enough to reach out to me and pick my brain on running, my favorite beers and my favorite places to eat around Chicago.  I was really honored to be featured by the Beer Runner and I can’t wait to book another race with him a) so that I can get revenge for me recent loss and b) so that we can shoot the shit again over some tasty beverages.  Check out our chat when you have a chance:

Link to the full column for DRAFT Magazine here :

By: Jay     On: March 21, 2013

The Gambler’s Corner

Time for my annual March Madness column in which I  answer the question- what does the team that cuts down the nets and win the title look like (statistically speaking; aesthetically they usually look tall and lean)?  Everyone loves filling out their damn brackets, hell even Barry Obama is on year 5 of revealing his bracket picks to the nation… this is serious Americana shit dudes.  In finding the key metrics of a Championship team – I will sift through the field of 68 teams and eliminate all of the teams that do not “fit” or resemble teams that have won it all.  After all- the key to winning a bracket pool is to pick the overall national champion.  Yeah, you may back into a win without doing so, or by picking the prettiest outfits/uniforms in each game, but that would be incredibly unlikely.  I this the “Work Backwards” strategy to find a champion and I think that picking your bracket in reverse starting with your national champ  is the best way to find a winner.

First, I sifted through the dozens of statistics available on kenpom.com  and other hoops stats sites and came up with the ones that I find most crucial for predicting a championship team.  Namely:

• Adjusted Offensive Efficiency rank: how efficiently they score (Average champ is ranked 4^th – lowest rank of a champion was 16^th)

• Adjusted Defensive Efficiency rank: how efficiently they stop people from scoring (Average champ ranked 9^th, lowest champ 19^th)

• Effective FG%: how well do they shoot (average champ 54%, lowest 48%)

• Turnover %: how well do they hold on to the ball (avg. champ turns it over 19% of the time, worst champ 21%)

• Offensive Rebound rate: how well do they get 2^nd chance opportunities (average champ 39%, lowest champ 35.5%)

• Free throw attempts/field goal attempts: how well do they get to the line (avg. champ 39, lowest champ 33.8)

• Free throw % (avg champ 72%, lowest 62%)

• Strength of Schedule (avg  .79, lowest .67)

• Points per game (avg champ 81, lowest 73)

• Defensive points given up per game (avg. champ 65, lowest champ 73)

• Average scoring margin (avg champ 15.3, lowest champ 7)

• Scoring margin x Strength of Schedule (avg champ 12, lowest 5.6)
• Winning % in games away from home (avg champ 74%, lowest champ 58.3%)
• Winning % in last 10 games before tournament (avg champ 78%, lowest champ 60%)
• Total wins before the tournament (avg champ 28, lowest 24)

• Longest win streak for the season (avg champ 14.5, lowest 8)
• Longest win streak beginning with conference schedule (avg champ 8.2, lowest 4)
• Winning Conference Tournament (6 out of 10 teams have dating back to 2003)
• Effective Height (new stat tracked starting in ‘07 – avg champ 3.6 inches taller than mean, shortest champ 1.8 inches taller)

I’ve spent countless hours studying all of these numbers- but I believe that these are the key stats to keep your eye on when evaluating a tournament team.  By looking at the track record of a champ- you can pick the 2013 champion that most closely resembles the “look” of a champion.

Where to start?

Step 1- throw out any team that doesn’t hasn’t won at least 24 games, and does not have a chance to be at least ranked 16^th in adjusted offense and 19^th in adjusted defense (remember there are 6 games left for a prospective champ to improve team stats a little).

This simple step leaves us with 11 teams: (Florida, Louisville, Indiana, Gonzaga, Ohio St, Duke, Kansas, Michigan St, Miami, Pittsburgh and Syracuse)

I just took 57 teams off the table.

Step 2 – throw out all remaining teams that do not have a 3 seed or better – see ya later Pittsburgh and Syracuse (these teams typically don’t win)

Step 3- take a close look at the Deal Breakers – in other words- do any of the remaining 9 teams evidence characteristics that we just do not see in a championship team?

Here is what I found:

Florida: Really bad offensive rebounders, they don’t get to the line enough, They don’t score enough points and they don’t win enough games away from home. Also they are not tall enough.  To the curb dudes.

Ohio State: They don’t score enough points, they are bad offensive rebounders, not very good free throw shooters, their longest win streak is a sad 8 games and they are too short as compared to recent champions.

Michigan St: They don’t score enough points, their offensive efficiency isn’t great, they aren’t good offensive rebounders, their scoring margin is low, they don’t play well away from home and their longest win streak isn’t very impressive and they aren’t tall enough.

Miami: They don’t offensive rebound well, they don’t shoot free throws well enough, they don’t score enough and their victory margin is very shaky.

That leaves us with just 5 team dudes: Indiana, Gonzaga, Duke, Louisville and Kansas

Kansas made it to the championship last year… but they are clearly the weakest of this group.   What’s the story? Welp, Bill Self’s team isn’t great at offensive efficiency, don’t score a lot, are weak offensive rebounders and do not get to the free throw line very well. Additionally, they don’t play well away from home and don’t score a lot of points offensively. Jeff Withy and his shot blocking prowess will not be enough for them to cut down the nets.

That leaves us with 4 teams- I’ll rank them in order 1- Indiana (Obama’s pick), 2- Gonzaga and 3- Duke and 4- Louisville.

Here are the strengths and weaknesses of each:

1. Indiana

Strengths:      Great offensive efficiency, great effective field goal %, Good offensive rebounding, Fantastic at getting to the line, they score a lot of points, and have a really strong adjusted win margin, Great Alpha Dog in Cody Zeller.

Weaknesses: Not elite defensively, Not particularly strong in last 10 games, longest win streaks are not particularly impressive

2. Gonzaga

Strengths:      7 Foot tall, 3 point shooting,  long-haired goofy Canadian Kelly Olynyk! How do you compete with this? But seriously, the metrics on the Zags surprised the shit out of me.  They are really strong in offensive efficiency, they shoot really well from the floor, they don’t turn the ball over, they are really strong playing away from home and they are really tall.

Weaknesses: They have a horrendous strength of schedule! I mean they haven’t played anyone! They also don’t get offensive rebounds very well. I fear that Olynyk is a taller, stache-less Adam Morrison which could be a problem.

3. Duke

Strengths:      Offensive efficiency, they shoot a high percentage, they get to the line, they don’t turn the ball over, and they have a multi-Championship winning coach (never grey Coach K)

Weaknesses: Horrifically bad offensive rebounders, pretty poor defensive efficiency, weak adjusted scoring margin.

4. Louisville

Strengths:      Peyton Siva is a cold-blooded killer and I’ve enjoyed his career at Louisville as much as anybody ever in college hoops who has never won anything. He is Mr. toughjuice and absolutely terrifying if he has the ball late in a close game.  They are the best team in the country in defensive efficiency, don’t turn the ball over, get to the line very well, have a good adjusted scoring margin, win games away from home, are red-hot in their last 10 and have a multi-championship winning coach in Rick “Italian Restaurant” Pitino

Weaknesses: Horrifically short team- they’d be the shortest team to win the title  in the last in the last 7 years by almost a full inch of effective height, weak offensive efficiency, and they don’t score enough.

So working backwards, I leave with 2 nuggets:

1) Metrics tell me that the best 11 teams in the brackets are: Indiana, Gonzaga, Duke, Louisville, Kansas, Florida, Ohio State, Michigan State, Miami, Pitt and Syracuse

When in doubt, pick one of these teams to move on in the early rounds.

2) The best 4 teams in the Dance are Indiana, Gonzaga, Duke, Louisville and Louisville and Duke are BOTH in the MIDWEST region – meaning only one of these teams can make the final 4.  When I study it, I give the slight edge to Duke but it is a coin flip

So- based on what I’ve laid out above, here are my 4 brackets:

1—Gonzaga over Duke, Indiana over Kansas, Indiana over Gonzaga,  – CHAMPION = Indiana

2—Gonzaga over Duke, Indiana over Kansas, Gonzaga over Indiana,  – CHAMPION = Gonzaga

3—Duke over Gonzaga, Indiana over Kansas, Duke over Indiana,  – CHAMPION = Duke

4-DARKHORSE- Louisville over Gonzaga, Indiana over Kansas, Louisville over Indiana, CHAMPION = Louisville

Now that you know the four teams that can win, gamble appropriately and feel free to bring your beer-stained brackets to the bar…mean-mug anybody who gives you static.  This type of behavior is perfectly acceptable in the three-week period in which college hoops takes over the national consciousness and turns everyone into raving lunatics screaming at 19 year olds to toss an eight pound ball through an 18 inch metal hoop… aka the best thing in sports… and it’s not close.

After destroying burgers at Owen & Engine and The Bad Apple in January and February, we are hitting Au Cheval on Tuesday, March 26th at 7PM for BurgerClub Volume III: The Burger Bar Mitzvah!!

Come join us to drAnk beers, eat burgers, discuss burgers, and see how the Au Cheval burger stacks up with the very best in Chicago.  always, we will be keeping score and we will bring punchcards to gather burger feedback (scoring criteria below).  Best part, if we need more liquid refreshment after burgering, we can always stumble over to the glorious Haymarket Pub to quench our thists. Burgering will start promptly at 7PM.   Full details below:

BURGER CLUB VOLUME III

AuCheval

TUESDAY, March 26TH, AT 7PM

800 w rANDOLPH sT

BurgerClub Scoring Categories (50 points max, 10 pts each)

• Bun Quality/Flavor:
• Meat Quality/Flavor:
• Cooked to Temp:
• Cheese/Other Toppings:
• Overall Umami Factor:

By: Jay     On: February 22, 2013

The February installment of  BurgerClub , a meat-filled year-long journey in which we eat a burger a month and keep score on a quest to find the very best burger in Chicago set up shop at The Bad Apple in North Center.  Bad Apple features a much lauded burger and tasty hand cut fries that can be prepared all kinds of ways (jerk, chipotle, truffle, garlic, ranch, Oscar Pistorius).  Added bonus: It sits right across the street from one of my favorite places to grab a beer, the glorious Half Acre Tap Room.  BOOM!!

It was a freezing night so attendance was limited to 8 of us plus a write-in entry from @chikeller who was dedicated enough to score her burger ahead of time due to a scheduling conflict.  We were seated promptly and ordered a few beers to take the edge off.  Bad Apple has a great beer list including a lot of Belgians, sours and limited releases.  I enjoyed the elusive Half Acre Double Daisy Cutter while others went with a delicious sour from Against The Grain.  We decided to order the Bad Apple house burger “as-is” (lettuce, tomato, provolone, medium rare) however, we made an executive decision to swap out to the Pretzel Roll, a $1 upcharge, in the interest of maximizing the tasty.  This was a similar approach to what we did the prior month at Owen & Engine.  Once seated, it took a solid hour plus to get burgers to our table which was a bit of a blower and drastically increased the crunk factor so win?  Debatable.

The scoring categories for BurgerClub allow for a 50 point maximum score for the perfect burger with a 10 point scale for Bun Quality/Flavor, Meat Quality/Flavor, Cooked to Temp?, Cheese/Other toppings and Overall Umami Factor. So how did the Bad Apple Burger do?

 BUN QUALITY/FLAVOR: 6

The bun was a pretty run of the mill pretzel roll- if you got it.  Half of our party was served the burger on a pretzel roll and half got the house roll.  Difficult to tell who is at fault here because it was a modification to the straight-up house burger.   The bun did not get soggy, was reasonably fresh and did the job.  Was it anything revelatory? Absolutely not.  Overall, the bun score was relatively snooze worthy.

MEAT QUALITY/FLAVOR: 7

People seemed to like the beef used by Bad Apple but were clamoring for a little bit more juiciness. Some claimed it “tasted like every other bar burger I’ve ever had”.  I dug the beef and think that they do a nice job.  That’s some pretty decent beef.

COOKED TO TEMP: 9

Restaurants can learn how to cook a medium rare burger from Bad Apple. They absolutely nailed it!  Talk about putting on a clinic: not a dingle complaint about burger temp here. Nice and red on the inside, great consistency.   Universally, this was the aspect of the burger that people were most impressed with at Bad Apple

CHEESE/OTHER TOPPINGS: 5

The house burger here is pretty damn boring.  Provolone, lettuce and tomato? Really? That’s what you hang your hat on? They have about a dozen more interesting flavor combos on the burger menu but rules are rules: you order the house burger at Burger Club.  The provolone was standard deli fare and no one was impressed by the toppings at all.

OVERALL UMAMI FACTOR: 6

The wow factor really just wasn’t there for this burger.  One diner commented “Overall not very well composed. Cheese disappeared from overall taste”.   Another felt that this burger would be “eaten and forgotten immediately”.  Is this a first class burger? Yes. Is it in the elite conversation? No, not really.  Burger Club just didn’t  feel that The Bad Apple burger is a contender for the title of best in Chicago.

Overall: 32.3 out of 50 points

The judges have spoken. The Bad Apple burger was a bit of a snooze.  People thought it was cooked damn near perfectly and liked the meat a good bit.   When you stack it up with the likes of the Owen & Engine burger, however, you realize that it is just not in the same gene pool. Owen weighed in at an overall score of 35.8 besting Bad Apple by a full 3.5 points.  If you are at the Half Acre Tap room and get a case of the hangries, by all means look both ways, cross the street and get after this burger.  It’s damn good.  It’s just not ready to compete with the big dogs in city.  Shout out to the kind and gracious staff at Bad Apple for taking care of us and putting up with our burger scoring antics.  Solid people there all around.

The obligatory rounds of brews followed at Half Acre and we actually closed down the place drinking some Canyon of Heroes IPAs, listening to a delightful bluegrass ensemble that seemed to take a lot of smoke breaks and admiring bear taxidermy.  Good times.

Props to these folks for coming out, they are funny and know how to burger:  @sullyeats  @omgsammiches  @chikeller @tedwardbouillon   @taege @omfgroflcopter @boozybeggarchi @danielmath

Next month we are rolling out Burger Club Volume 3: Burger Bar Mitzvah at Au Cheval . Exact date and time to follow… stay tuned dudes!!

The BurgerClub Lineup:

• OWEN & ENGINE VISIT ON 1/15/13 SCORE: 35.8

• DMK BURGER BAR

• ACADIA

• LITTLE GOAT

• THREE ACES

• CHICAGO CUT STEAKHOUSE

• BLACKBIRD

• KUMAS CORNER

• EDZOS LINCOLN PARK

• THE BAD APPLE   visit 2/19/13 score 32.3

• THE NORTHDOWN

• AUCHEVAL